There once was a journalist, you see
Who begged people to come forward, oh plea
“I just want to ask,
Please complete this task,”
Her words echoed through air, so free.
There once was a VP named Vance,
Whose deal was just happenstance,
Abby Phillip, she noted
Their claims were quite bloated,
Obama’s deal had the real chance.
There once was a report from the FBI,
Using language that made many cry,
From far-right groups’ letter,
Causing quite a big fetter,
In the Southern Poverty Law Center’s eye.
There once was a bill up for vote,
Three hundred fifty-eight were in the boat,
It sailed to Trump’s hand,
For him to sign and command,
Now it’s law, so let’s all take note.
There once was a woman named Groff
Who worked for a man named Epstein, a toff
She said their relationship was friendly
To lawmakers, she told them plenty
In 2001, she started off
There once was a DOJ in a fix,
Charged 455 with tricks,
Submitting false claims,
Causing financial pains,
$6.5 billion – quite a big fix!
There once was a comptroller from New York,
Endorsed by Mayor Zohran, a good talk,
He ran to the left,
Of Rep. Dan, quite deft,
In politics, he made quite a mark.
There once was a race in New York,
For Congress, a heated talk,
A proxy war did brew,
Progressive visions in view,
In the 7th, the future’s unlock.
There once was a man named Landor,
Suing prison officials he swore,
They cut off his locks,
In a lawsuit he knocks,
For his dreadlocks he’ll fight evermore.
There once was a trillionaire bold,
Who threatened to sue and scold,
Rep. Ro Khanna, oh my,
For speaking too nigh,
Of DOGE decisions of gold.