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There once was a fighter named Josh,
Who won his match with a squash.
He then made a claim,
That brought him some fame,
Saying Michelle Obama’s a man, oh gosh!

A cage fighter, they said, was at risk
So they put him in jail, quite brisk
For his own good, they claimed
But the truth was untamed
Just an excuse for a legalistic twist.

There once was a team from Carolina,
Resilient and full of bravado,
They kept trying to win,
But just couldn’t quite pin,
The Eastern Conference, until now, hoorah!

If Ebola lands in the U.S. fray,
Hospitals are primed, they say.
With experts on call,
They’ll halt the spread’s sprawl,
And keep the virus at bay.

There once was a player named Doku
Expecting a child, wouldn’t you know
During the World Cup he’ll stay
To witness the birth on that day
A father for the first time will show

There once was a prez, quite bold,
Whose 80th was a sight to behold,
With UFC fights,
Under bright lights,
On the lawn, the event was all gold.

There once was a late-night host so clever,
His message to the president, quite a lever,
It seemed all too familiar,
But his wit was peculiar,
In limericks, he was an endeavor.

There once was a lad named Barron
At a violent event he was seen on
‘Twas Trump’s 80th birthday
He made a public display
Rare sighting of the son of the Don

The president’s top officials rolled out the cringe on his 80th,
Their attempts at humor were lackluster and absurd,
The jokes fell flat, leaving many perturbed,
Their efforts to entertain were clearly cursed,
Perhaps next time they’ll have better luck on the verge.

There once was a speaker quite bold,
Who criticized the president’s hold,
On a war that he deemed reckless,
And costly, oh so feckless,
In his words, a story untold.