There once was a commentator, Trump-friendly,
Discussing a likely showdown aplenty,
Among Democrats in 2028,
For the presidential fate,
A campaign that will be quite tempting.
There once were some Navy gals keen,
Who noticed Pete Hegseth intervene,
On promotions, they fear,
Their careers won’t clear,
A glass ceiling’s what they’ve seen.
There once was a rapper on Fox,
Who decried those who changed their views box.
He said with some sass,
To those shaken en masse,
“My decision’s not political, just rocks.”
There once was a man named Joe Thomas,
The president said, “He’s a specimen, hot!”
Though his name was quite unknown,
In the NFL he had shone,
A true talent, no one could top.
There once was a man named Hussein
Who waited hours, feeling the strain
Finally allowed in
But his teammate, a bin
Was blocked, causing much disdain
There once was a shooting in Toledo,
Near a festival, the scene was a blow.
Multiple folks got shot,
In a place they thought not,
In Ohio, fear did grow and flow.
There once was a musician named Chuck,
Whose joy was more than just a luck,
He was very pleased,
With the judge’s decree,
Now he can finally hit his luck.
There once were FBI analysts, quite bright,
Who warned of a Catholic threat in the night,
But Kash Patel said nay,
And sent them away,
In a termination wave, such a sight.
There once was a group from SoFi,
Protesting for wages too low,
They threatened to picket,
Their voices to stick it,
For ICE at the games they said no.
There once was a team from Iran
Whose visa issues went all awry
They moved their base of training
To Tijuana, not complaining
By the California border they did fly