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There once was a grifter named Jones,
Who spread lies with a heart made of stones.
Infowars now he’ll lose,
For the families he’d abuse,
No remorse for the pain that he’d sown.

There once was a comedian, fun,
Who backed Trump’s strikes on Iran, done.
But now he does say,
“Just cut and run away,”
His support for the president has spun.

There once was a president sad,
Carlson claimed he looked resigned.
Their last chat ended in fight,
No peace, only anger in sight,
Their bond forever maligned.

A Democrat from Pennsylvania, so grand,
Staunch advocate for Israel’s land,
In politics he is wise,
Supports with open eyes,
His loyalty we all understand.

There once was a man named Trump, they say,
Who wanted the war questions to go away.
Kaitlan Collins did share,
He made it very clear,
No more timelines for him, that’s the display.

There once was a show that was greater
At the Ed Sullivan Theater
The news brought much delight
Rabid cheers in the night
In the audience filled with fervor

A soldier with secrets, we’re told,
Used classified info for gold.
Now out on bond,
His future beyond,
In the prediction market, he’s bold.

There once was a man named Trump
Whose job performance made voters jump
Fifty-eight percent disapproved
Their disfavor unmoved
In the survey, the numbers did slump

There once was a man named Jake Reiner,
Whose heartache could not be tamer.
Losing both parents in a day,
Left him with much to say,
The pain of it all was a real no-brainer.

There once was a writer so bold,
Who claimed there’s a fear to uphold,
To speak out against the head,
Of the FBI filled her with dread,
But she still shared her stories untold.