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There once was a man named Van Jones
Who criticized the country’s groans
He said it’s not right
For a country so tight
To have such unhealthy moans

After Iran’s request was rejected,
To Mexico, their matches projected,
But FIFA said no,
To Mexico they won’t go,
Now the team’s fate is selected.

There once was a doc named Reiner
Who suggested the president’s demeanor
Was due to his nap,
During a long, boring yap,
In the Oval Office arena.

There once was a man with a tone
Defending the president alone
With math that was suspect
His logic, a wreck
Leaving many unsure what to condone

The Commerce Secretary did say,
Just one has been granted the stay,
For the $1 million visa,
To live and work here, a geezer,
Approval is scarce, so they say.

There once was a soldier so bold,
Used secrets to win quite a large sum of gold,
Bet on Maduro’s capture,
In an online betting rapture,
Now faces charges, the story is told.

In grocery stores nationwide they muse,
Confusion and shame the shoppers choose,
At checkout lines quiet,
Helplessness in their plight,
Where SNAP benefits they must peruse.

There once was a reporter so bold,
In Kuwait City, he was soon controlled.
For posts on Iran’s war,
He got into a sore,
Now his fate in the legal system will unfold.

There once was a conductor so fine
His last performance in ’25
With the San Fran Symphony
Then he passed peacefully
Connie Shuman did announce his decline

There once was a “Last Word” host so bright,
Who called the MAGA leader a blight.
He said, “Nothing he’s done,
But raised prices for everyone,”
Inflation’s a terrible plight.