There once was a board from Rutherford,
Who fired the director with fervor,
For refusing to move
LGBTQ books, they disapprove,
Now the library’s future is unsure.
There once was a host from “The View”
Who pondered why Trump would pursue
A feature beneath
His grand event space sheath
For his billionaire friends to imbue
There once was a senator from Jersey
Called for unity to be less flimsy
He refused to rule out
A presidential route
In 2028, he might be quite saucy
A deputy observed with a stare,
Eyes bloodshot, pupils dilated with care,
In Woods’ arrest report,
The signs were a retort,
To the drugs he did dare.
U.S. stocks are jolting all day,
As oil prices spike in a way,
Due to war with Iran,
But the rise is a ban,
Slowing down in a sway.
There once was a man named Graham,
Who toughened up in a jam,
Spotted at Magic Kingdom’s gate,
Amid government shutdown debate,
Kicking it tough, that’s his program.
There once was a man who was shot,
A bullet fragment was found, but not caught.
The rifle was near,
But the connection unclear,
In the autopsy, the truth would be sought.
There once was a host with some sass,
Who compared the MAGA leader to a lass.
He said Nixon was worse,
In a strong-worded verse,
During Saturday’s protest-filled mass.
There once was a woman named McMahon
Whose take on kids in the classroom was plain
She said they’re not faring well
Since she joined the Cabinet spell
A stunning view that caused quite a pain
There once was a man named Stuart Varney,
Whose guest brought news quite alarming.
As oil prices soared,
And Trump’s war on Iran roared,
Varney found little comfort in charming.