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The bonuses came, what a surprise,
BOGO promotion was the prize,
Some stores had to close,
But the staff now all knows,
That their wallets will grow in size.

There once was a guru who knew
That trouble for the GOP would accrue
Midterm woes were brewing
And the data was stewing
In a mess that no one could undo

There once was a host full of fervor
For giving the president a new cover
With jokes and satire
He’d never expire
On “Last Week Tonight,” he’s a mover.

Major U.S. airports, full of buzz,
Urge travelers to arrive hours early, just because,
Despite Trump’s emergency pay,
Workers still need their say,
Chaos reigns, as delays cause much fuss.

There once was a man named Trump
Who threatened to make a big jump
If the Strait didn’t open
The U.S. would be mopin’
With an offensive that made others stumped

There once was a Trump supporter quite bold,
Who predicted the president’s campaign would unfold,
Come November, he said,
The voters won’t be misled,
Their memories too strong to be sold.

There once was a stock market scene
With losses that felt quite obscene
But now they are rising
Despite oil’s surprising
Recovery that’s quite serene

There once was a Pope named Leo XIV,
Who said God does not listen, you see,
To the prayers of those who wage war,
He condemned officials, what’s more,
Using Christianity to justify violence, is not the way to be.

With the nation at war and in plight,
The president planned a ballroom so bright,
Complete with props so grand,
To uplift the land,
In crises, his vision took flight.

There once was a ’90s icon, they say,
Who shared a wild theory one day,
About Michelle Obama, so bold,
But the internet’s wrath quickly took hold,
For spreading such nonsense, they pay.