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There once was a singer named Jello,
From the Dead Kennedys, you know.
He suffered a stroke,
Which sure was no joke,
But we wish him a fast, healthy hello.

A scandal with Epstein ensued,
Wasserman’s ties were reviewed.
The fallout was steep,
The public did weep,
As the truth about Epstein was shrewd.

There once was a blockage in strait
Iran aimed to control their own fate
Trump said, “Go through!”
But Iran stuck like glue
Now tensions continue to escalate

There once was a judge named Brett,
Who claimed the Supreme Court had set
A precedent fair,
Treating Trump and Joe with care,
On the emergency docket, no threat.

There once was a man from Kentucky
His rationales were not quite lucky
On Fox Business he’d appear
But his logic wasn’t clear
His points were unconvincing, quite yucky

There once was a man named Martin
Accused of a terrible sin
Using coercion to suppress
Georgetown Law’s DEI progress
Now he’s in a legal tailspin

There once was a host named Last Word,
Who noticed a change quite absurd,
Trump’s rhetoric did switch,
On the Iran war pitch,
Now regional, his words were no longer slurred.

There once was a host named Last Word,
Who noticed a change quite absurd,
Trump’s rhetoric did switch,
On the Iran war pitch,
Now regional, his words were no longer slurred.

There once were some GOP lawmakers,
Who cackled at presidential sayers,
Comment was deemed grotesque,
On social media, the rest,
Called it sickening, a public dismay.

There once was a host late at night
Who tore into the president with might
He criticized the man
For a merchandising plan
Turning dignity into a fright