There once was a shooter from Perth
Whose mother claimed trouble with mirth
Said the couple was struggling
Before baby was juggling
Marital issues from their hearth.
There once was a coach named Holtz
Who led Notre Dame to title bolts
With six teams he’d go
To the bowl games, you know
His coaching success never halts
The Trump admin had reasons confusing,
For the bombing, excuses were amusing,
But the latest one’s a doozy,
Their explanations all woozy,
Their credibility now is bruising.
There once was a Secretary of State
Who squirmed when confronted on his fate
Talking of Israel
And strikes that might compel
The U.S. to act proactively, he couldn’t debate
There once was a Private Eye sleuth,
Whose findings were most uncouth.
Operation Epic Fury revealed,
With reworked images sealed,
The truth, in scandal and sooth.
There once was a market so wild,
With swings that left traders beguiled.
But now it’s more steady,
As worries are ready,
To see where oil prices are filed.
There once was a man from L.A.,
Whose words caused quite a display,
At a speaking event,
His new book he did present,
California governor had his say.
There once was a man Pete Hegseth,
Who claimed air superiority with zest,
But attacks from Iran,
Couldn’t all be banned,
U.S. defense still faced a test.
There once was a man named Vance,
Whose identity took a chance,
Chuck Todd did declare,
It’s just not quite fair,
Like Kamala Harris, in a trance.
There once was a deckhand named Todd,
Whose fishing trip ended quite odd,
The Coast Guard did say,
In a statement that day,
Todd Meadows has gone to his God.