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There once was a family who’s phrasing
Of an incident left them all praising
Their statement was clear
Their message sincere
Of trauma, they found it disparaging

There once was a crash so grand,
That closed 196 in the land,
The Michigan State Police,
Did the roads release,
Near Grand Rapids they had to stand.

There once was a man in a bind,
Who wanted a prize of a kind.
He tried to acquire land,
With a letter so grand,
But Greenland was not what he’d find.

There once was a show called 60 MINUTES
With a piece ready to air, no limits
CBS News leadership vowed
To broadcast it aloud
Their commitment shining in it like a lighthouse

There once was an actor quite bold,
Hit by an SUV, so we’re told.
Then struck once again,
While lying in pain,
By a vehicle, new dangers unfold.

There once was a mad dictator,
Who howled in his frustrationater.
Declared the renowned economist,
His behavior was on the blacklist,
In history, a grim spectator.

There once was a president bold
Who thought of Peace as too old
With no Nobel Prize in sight
His focus shifted, not right
For Peace, he no longer would hold.

There once was a paper so grand,
Its views were firm and quite bland,
The president sought to take land,
The irony hit like a hand,
Conservative views in demand.

There once was a strategist named Roginsky
Whose column got her in quite a tizzy
She feared she’d be banned
From CNN’s land
For speaking her mind so quite frisky

There once was a Secretary, neat,
Whose birthday was quite a feat.
He celebrated with glee,
An unconventional spree,
Health and Human Services elite.