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There once was a car that would race
It went around in circles with grace
Its driver was thrilled
As the tires whirled and spilled
Leaving a smile on their face.

There once was a Duke of great fame,
Litigant in a lawsuit, his name.
Daily Mail’s invasion,
Caused much agitation,
In court, he seeks justice to claim.

“There’s chaos and madness unfurled,”
Said comedian Tim Dillon, with a twirl.
“It’s literally the end
Of the world, my dear friend,”
As he chuckled and danced like a squirrel.

There once was a state in the South,
Where snow fell, causing mouths to gape with open mouth,
Rarely seen in those parts,
It warmed many hearts,
A winter wonderland, from north to south.

There’s intense effort to explain,
To the President with might and main,
Don’t impose the tax,
On Greenland, relax,
Persuasion they hope will bring gain.

The U.S. Army, ready to go,
Placed units on prepare-to-deploy,
In the midwest they could fight,
If violence takes flight,
But sending them is not a sure show.

Some in the crowd tossed balloons with water,
Drenching right-wingers, oh what a bother!
At -4 degrees,
With a bone-chilling freeze,
A limerick to warm up the slaughter.

There once was a woman named Kayleigh,
Whose take on things was quite daily,
When a Dem strategist spoke,
She was genuinely broke,
Her shock was quite clear, no delay.

There once was a quarterback named Nix,
Whose ankle injury became a big fix.
In the Broncos’ win late in the game,
He broke his ankle, what a shame!
Now surgery’s needed, no more tricks.

There once was a man named Jennings,
Who accused Mayor Frey of threats and misgivings.
But Host Abby Phillip,
Found his claims to be typical,
And dismissed his wild accusations and ramblings.