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The 2026 midterms, he’d insist
“About one thing and one thing, we’ll persist”
The Democratic view
For the voters to chew
One issue, the focus, they’d enlist

There once was a CNN data guru
Who spotted the party’s breakthrough
November looks good
As the clock ticks it should
For success on election day, it’s true

There once were young folks from Latin,
Gathered on beaches, parks for battlin’,
“aura battles” they’d play,
From web to real, a new way,
In public spaces, their fun unravellin’.

There once was a man named Pete Hegseth,
Who ousted Gen. Randy George, how deft!
He made a bold move,
And we all must approve,
For the Army’s future, it was left.

There once was a star, age twenty-eight,
Said the transport chief to his mate,
“He’s a reminder, you see,
That men will still be
Men, despite their changing state.”

There once was a man named Wei,
In Saipan he sadly did lay,
The guard found him still,
Unresponsive and chill,
On that fateful August day.

There once was a debt quite obscene,
Forty trillion, what does it mean?
In the midterm election,
A Republican connection,
To keep control, will it convene?

Nearly everything’s up for sale,
At the event next week without fail.
From antiques to fine art,
Shopping spree’s just the start,
A unique experience, without any entail.

There once was a president quite,
Who sounded just like his past plight,
For his words were not good,
Just like those before, he should,
Learn to speak with more wisdom and light.

There once was a House speaker so bold,
Who scolded a reporter named Manu.
He lashed out in a rage,
On the CNN stage,
But the truth, it did finally unfold.