There once was a big argument fight,
Tom Cruise, Julia Roberts, and DiCaprio in sight.
They got dragged into the fray,
On who’s the best actor, they say,
But in the end, they all turned out alright.
There once was a host of late night
Who tore into the president’s slight
For comments on two cities
In California, not pretty
His sarcasm was quite a delight
A president once claimed with much wrath,
The newspaper doctored the path.
Videos from the golf resort’s site,
Showed the truth, not a fight,
Proving the president’s words lacked their math.
There once was a man named Jarquín,
Whose lawyer confirmed his sad sin,
He sought asylum with might,
But was sent back in fright,
From the U.S., now he can’t begin.
There once was a White House statement,
Saying the president’s intent wasn’t blatant,
No desire for Iran to strike,
Just aiming to prevent the spike,
In Tehran’s power, not to exacerbate.
There once was a host named Joe,
Who schooled Trump on a morning show,
About past jokes and jests,
From presidents, the best,
A history lesson to help Trump’s ego.
There once was a comedian quite bold,
Who declared what voters will hold,
The message was clear,
For Republicans to fear,
As their fate in their hands would unfold.
There once was a man named Dale,
Who Trump’s lies would oft assail,
But one surprising day,
He defended in a way,
A twist in the political tale.
There once was a trustee from Cornell,
Who wanted to handle complaints well.
He hired Sally Yates,
To review the school’s mates,
And ensure a safe campus spell.
There once was a party so dumb,
Republicans couldn’t get it done,
O’Reilly declared with a sigh,
They may very well say goodbye,
Their lack of unity made them numb.