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There once was a frontman named Phil,
Who said the times were quite shrill,
He called it quite scary,
This era so hairy,
We hope soon it will all be still.

There once was a “Late Night” host,
Who let the president’s words boast.
Through jokes and satire,
He’d never tire,
Of the truth that needed to coast.

Bakker and Tammy Faye, quite a pair,
Built an empire on TV with flair,
“The PTL Club” was their hit,
Evangelical success, no misfit,
Their fame rose beyond compare.

There once was a president’s mate,
Who had a moment that was great,
In the spotlight she shone,
By his side she was known,
His constant companion, first-rate.

There once was a man from West Virginia
Whose views on his party caused hysteria
He said Trump should be jailed
His fellow GOP bailed
Ronald stirred quite a media criteria.

There once was a state called PA
Where measles did spread in dismay
Over 1,000 cases found
Causing panic all around
In decades, the largest outbreak they say

There once was a group from Cornell
Protesting the response they did tell
Allegations of assault
Had them all in a vault
On the campus plaza they did dwell

There once was a time, quite nifty,
When the U.S. military was thrifty,
No death penalty since ’61,
A practice no longer done,
In their history, a fact quite shifty.

There once were soldiers who made a lament
About disinvestment in the Orient
Years of neglect, they say
By administrations at play
Ending U.S. involvement, they resent

There once was a man named Tillis,
Who said with a shake and a shiver,
“A political error,
We must avoid, I fear,
For that would be a terrible misstep.”