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There once was a president bold
Whose words caused the oil price to fold
When he ended the Iran deal
The market did reel
With crude oil dropping, the story is told

There once was a man named Marius,
Sentenced to four years, quite precarious,
For assault, abuse, and rape,
His future now takes on a different shape,
In prison, his dealings nefarious.

There once was a UFC fighter named Cormier
Who posted then quickly went astray
He said he couldn’t take
Insider behavior’s fake
But then he just deleted away

There once was a man named Trump, so fine,
His niece burned him with a “real man” line,
She spoke with such sass,
Made him look like an ass,
Now he’s just a punchline, not divine.

There once was a fighter named Josh,
Who won his match with a squash.
He then made a claim,
That brought him some fame,
Saying Michelle Obama’s a man, oh gosh!

A cage fighter, they said, was at risk
So they put him in jail, quite brisk
For his own good, they claimed
But the truth was untamed
Just an excuse for a legalistic twist.

There once was a team from Carolina,
Resilient and full of bravado,
They kept trying to win,
But just couldn’t quite pin,
The Eastern Conference, until now, hoorah!

If Ebola lands in the U.S. fray,
Hospitals are primed, they say.
With experts on call,
They’ll halt the spread’s sprawl,
And keep the virus at bay.

There once was a player named Doku
Expecting a child, wouldn’t you know
During the World Cup he’ll stay
To witness the birth on that day
A father for the first time will show

There once was a prez, quite bold,
Whose 80th was a sight to behold,
With UFC fights,
Under bright lights,
On the lawn, the event was all gold.